“I never knew what a friend was, until I met Geordi. He spoke to me as though I were Human. He treated me no differently from anyone else. He accepted me for what I am. And that – I have learned – is friendship.” —Data
Hi, Jordan and Robb, my Star Trek buddies, what a delight to meet you both! I’m a big fan of your work. I’ll skip the gagh, thanks, but I’ll take a cup of Tarkalian tea, please, and we can nerd out together, just the three of us! Oh— and maybe a dish of I’danian spice pudding, just this once. It’s a special occasion, the release of a book, and we must celebrate!
Friendships IRL
I loved listening in on Robert Picardo’s chat with Ethan Philips. There is nothing that warms my heart more than knowing that the actors who portray characters I love are real-life friends and chosen family, and we see that so often throughout the history of Trek. It’s such a testament to the power of Trek to bring people together!
Haha, J, speak for yourself! I am not Mr. Atoz-aged, but I am a little older than Zarabeth. Reading about how you both came to Trek made me smile like Spock first discovering the singing blue flowers on Talos IV! I too am old enough to remember the days when the first rule of being a Trek fan was that you didn’t talk about being a Trek fan.
I was raised in a strict religious fundamentalist culture that forbade Star Trek, but my mom was a rebel, and she introduced me to DS9 when it first aired. She used to record episodes onto blank Memorex tapes and we’d listen to those over and over. We got the visuals from the old Star Trek magazines. I was an adult before I finally “came out” as a Trek fan!
Haha, Robb, I see your “Gorgon” and raise you “Herbert”! Yeah, Brother! Yes, TMP was my gateway drug to the original cast, so you can imagine how much I love it!
Friendship: The Best Ship in the Fleet
You know, when I think about Star Trek, I don’t think about phasers or tricorders or planet of the week or forehead aliens. I think about friendships. It’s the relationships that set Trek apart from all the other science fiction shows. And although it’s a very close tie between Michael and Tilly, and Kirk and Spock, I have to honor my TOS fan girl roots and chime in that they are my favorite Trek friendship.
They are, as Margaret Wander Bonanno says in Dwellers in the Crucible, “amicus usque ad aras;” that is, a friend in spite of all differences, a friend to the last extremity. Spock is Horatio to Kirk’s Hamlet, Jonathan to his David, the friend who sticks closer than a brother. They do consider themselves to have become brothers, as they tell us in Whom Gods Destroy and again in The Final Frontier. I think Edith Keeler best sums up the friendship as she tells Spock where he belongs: “At his side. As if you had always been there and always will.”
Gah, Robb, not the hand thing, that makes me cry every time and I’ve seen that film so many times… but, let’s face it, Vulcan society kind of does discourage discourse on feelings. Remember Spock, in The Naked Time, admitting in anguish that when he feels friendship toward Kirk, he feels ashamed? But he grows beyond that, even if he doesn’t want Kirk to hug him in front of the Klingons.
Captains and Vulcans = Hasparat and Spring Wine
OK, so Janeway is my favorite captain, and Tuvok is my favorite Vulcan next to Spock. The two of them together are hasparat and spring wine. I’m watching Voyager for the first time right now so I can’t choose a favorite moment between them, but I love the utter reliance and safety and humor they have in their friendship.
The growth arc of the friendship between Archer and T’Pol was one of my favorite elements of Enterprise. My favorite was when Archer believed her and stood up for her when she had been violated. And when she took care of him when he was old and infirm. And how he supported her when she was detoxing and recovering from the drug addiction. That Archer could go from wanting to knock her down in Broken Bow to enfolding her in a friend’s embrace in the Episode That Shall Not Be Mentioned was such a beautiful friendship journey.
The thing I love best about modern Star Trek is that friends can tell friends, “I love you,” without it being weird or sexual or creepy or anything but pure platonic love. I love that Data and Picard had their moment.
“Tell Me A Story”
I was a Niner before we knew we were to be called Niners, so Sisko and Kira’s friendship is one of my favorite Trek friendships. My favorite Sisko and Kira scene are in Starship Down, when Sisko asks her to tell him a story.
Jordan, I too love those “I got your back, buddy,” moments between Joann “Oh Wow” Owosechun and Kayla “badass pilot” Detmer. I love seeing two women who work together supporting each other, encouraging each other not to lose confidence, and playing games and joking with each other off duty in the mess hall. And, you can tell from the epigraph I chose, how meaningful Geordi and Data’s friendship is to me.
Robb, I felt like Data’s friendship with Wesley was beautifully mirrored by Kestra’s friendship with Soji. Kestra was the very first person Soji trusted after her devastating betrayal. They were both so vulnerable, and so young. But Kestra helped Soji see that she could have Picard as kind of a space Dad if she wanted to.
“I’ll Be Seeing You”
Haha, Robb, self-sealing stem bolts! But seriously, Nog and Jake had such an amazing friendship! Remember when Jake taught Nog to read? And when they were wheeling and dealing together to get Sisko a baseball card? And when they hung out on the Promenade people-watching? And when Jake was there for Nog the best he knew how to be when Nog lost his leg? It was a true Trek friendship.
Squee! Dr Macdonald, what a delight to get to meet you! I’m having a fangirl moment… but seriously, I also love the friendship between Dr Crusher and Counselor Troi, because they remind me of my own friendships. My favorite moment between the two of them was when Beverly was telling Deanna why she chose to take the officer’s Bridge command test: because she wanted to push herself a bit.
Jordan, my absolute favorite Bones McCoy and Kirk friendship moment is the one in Balance of Terror. You know the one. “Don’t destroy the one named Kirk.” But the handshake in TMP is a close second.
Robb, I too love the many layers of Sisko and Jadzia Dax’s friendship. I love that they get to share their memories of the Curzon years at the same time as building new memories and having new adventures together.
Jordan, the quintessential Archer and Trip moment for me is in The Observer Effect when Trip is desperately ill, and Archer is looking at him, seeing his suffering, bringing him the news that Phlox doesn’t have a cure, and he knows he could lose his best engineer and his great friend. And they remind each other of how many worlds are still out there to explore.
Space Siblings
Saru and Michael Burnham’s friendship is one of my absolute favorites in all of Trek. The journey they make, from fearing one another and competing with one another, to learning to rely upon one another, to the depths of trust and deep knowing of one another, is so beautiful and so Star Trek.
Their relationship is certainly strained in season three of Discovery, but when we get to season four, their mutual love and trust is stronger than ever. Saru serves at Michael’s side as confidante, comforter, wise counsellor… and someone to practice primal yelling with! Like Kirk and Spock, they truly came to feel themselves to be siblings.
Robb, I have faith of the heart that Raffi is a true friend to JL. Of course, it is hard to see a stranger talking that way to our beloved Captain. But it’s because she has such a depth of friendship with him that she can say what she does, and call him out, the way McCoy calls out Kirk. The moment when she says “I love you, JL,” has me in tears every time.
Imzadi
Jordan, I believe that the best romances, the ones that last, are built on solid friendships, just like the one Riker and Troi nurtured all those years. When they finally got married, it was because they had looked around enough to know that they wanted to go through time with each other. It was so much more than just a passing attraction. It was the depth of years of experience of working together and supporting each other.
And speaking of the group hug, my favorite part of that episode was when Picard and Riker were sitting by the water having coffee and the love and devotion between them shines out so beautifully.
Haha, yes, Quark and Odo are to DS9 what Spock and McCoy are to TOS! They drive each other up the wall and yet they would have been miserable without each other. I love the bickering between them!
Me, singing: “We don’t talk about Tuvix, no, no, no…”
Black Licorice and Mushrooms
I love the dysfunctional friendship between Stamets and Jett Reno. It’s hilarious and it’s antagonistic but it’s based on great mutual respect. Jett is the friend we would all like to have. So much more than comic relief, she can cut to the heart of any problem, scientific or of the heart. She encourages relationships between people constantly, and even though she lost her One, she’s always ready for her own friendship.
I’m so excited that it looks like we are finally going to get to explore the depth of friendship between Picard and Guinan in Picard, season two!
Jordan, yes, Hoshi Sato is my favorite Enterprise character! I feel like she and T’Pol were developing a great friendship, also!
From Roomies to Besties
I agree, Dr Macdonald, seeing the friendship between Michael and Tilly transform and grow is a beautiful thing. The two of them needed one another. At first, they began very much with the same dynamic that Paris and Kim did, and then developed into a mentorship, just as Harry and Tom did.
Michael and Tilly are my favorite female friends in all of Star Trek. Michael helps Tilly celebrate her birthday in just the way she needs to. They are always there for each other, encouraging each other, pushing each other to be their best selves, bearing witness to each other’s pain and struggle, joys and triumphs.
Haha Jordan, don’t forget O’Brien and Christina, the tarantula!
Friends are Family, Too: Final Thoughts and Ratings
From Kirk, Spock, and McCoy around a campfire, sharing beans and bourbon and song, affirming that they are chosen family, on through the chosen family that is the crew of Discovery, Trek has proved that it is based on a friendship that delights in one another’s differences, just as Surak told us we ought to. And, to use an overworked Trek phrase, that right there is Gene Roddenberry’s vision.
It’s been pure joy nerding out with you, Jordan and Robb. I would have to rate your book five out of five self-sealing stem bolts with a side of yamok sauce.
WE WOULD LIKE TO THANK BENBELLA BOOKS • SMART POP FOR A REVIEW COPY OF THIS OUTSTANDING BOOK
